I realized last night that February was ending, March was starting, and that I’ll very likely be introduced to my first-born son before this month is over.
That thought jarred me. It all sunk in. Fear overwhelmed me. I stared in the mirror for around 10 minutes trying to get my head around my new reality. The weight of it is too much to comprehend.
In preparation for his arrival, my wife and I have been talking about what will go in his room as decoration. One of the ideas we spoke about was a banner that would include a life verse and a word to sum it all up. It didn’t hit me until that moment that I would be raising a son to live a certain kind of life. As we talked about the words to sum it all up, my wife suggested, “loved” and “blessed” as examples. I don’t usually like to do what others tend to do, because I feel an innate drive to be different, but always on purpose. So, the first word that came to my mind was, “leader.”
The thought that I might be raising a leader of men is pretty exciting, most likely because that is what drives me (spiritual leadership). Maybe my son will lead the next generation to the cross! That would be amazing!
As I got lost in thought, though, it hit me that my purpose for my son may not be what God has in store for him. It might seem like a good thing to be a spiritual leader of a group of people, but if it’s not what God has called him to do, then that’s not going to work.
I got stuck in my quiet time this morning when I hit a verse that strikes a similar chord. In Genesis 5, Moses outlines the genealogy of some of the earth’s earliest people. After a couple verses of family tree fun, in Genesis 5:28-29, Noah is introduced.
“Lamech lived one hundred and eighty two years, and became the father of a son. Now he called his name Noah, saying ‘This one will give us rest from our work and from the toil of our hands arising from the ground which the LORD has cursed.'”
I don’t know what was going through Lamech’s mind when Noah was born, but it must have been quite a thought to know that Noah would play such a huge role in human history; that God Himself would use Noah to “reboot the system” so to speak.
As I pray for my son, I don’t know what God has in store for him. I haven’t had any dreams including an angel and the infamous “fear not” introduction. I haven’t seen any burning bushes, nor have I seen water turned to wine.
I know this, though. He knows my son. He knows his beginning and his end. He knows what his years are going to look like. He knows what his relationships are going to look like. He knows what he’s going to be inspired by and passionate about.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.”
Jeremiah 1:5
God has literally given my son a purpose in this world. He’s already set him apart. Wow!!! In the midst of the fear of raising a child, I’m so encouraged to know that God has a plan for my son, even though I might screw up! That’s peace beyond my understanding!
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of a son! As I fight to understand why you would give me a gift like him, I want to pursue Godly leadership of my family. Would you allow me to be the father that Kipton needs? Would you please allow me to give him what he needs? I beg of you to steer me as I raise him to look to you for guidance. God, I beg you to allow me to do this one thing in a way that pleases you: to love and lead my family to your cross. Amen.