I once heard a prominent leader say, “Sometimes, you need to fake it til you make it.”
And I get it. But I had an experience that showed me differently.
Not long ago, I had the opportunity to catch up with someone I hadn’t seen in almost 7 years. Let me set the stage. When I was a youth pastor at a church in Ohio, I also worked in the private school, which was attached. This was so new to me, as I’d just spent four years training for ministry environments, not school environments.
When I began, the principal showed me the ropes and I went for it. But I was young and was just learning what it was like to work in a full-time organizational role. I messed up…a lot. I was late for class more than a couple times. I was late getting grades in at one point, and I embraced an unconventional teaching style.
Looking back, I was a nightmare and a risk. And not once, not one single time, was I talked down to or made to feel like the weak link (even though I was).
The principal coached me and loved me with exorbitant amounts of grace. I also began to notice that she was ruthless about training the entire staff. When they scheduled training/encouragement days, they spent time praying for us and caring for us. They also went the extra mile and catered it with great food! I have always remembered that in my leadership, to this day!
When it came time to resign and move forward, this principal was on my reference list. I honestly didn’t expect anyone to give me a glowing review. I’d only been there for two years and I (self-proclaimedly) wasn’t a great team member. I’ll never forget the day that she stopped me in the hallway. She had a big smile on her face as she confidently said, “I’m pretty sure I just got you the job!”
Fast-forward to a few weeks ago. I received a text that the church staff was at an event that I attended. I got nervous. I hadn’t seen these people in almost 7 years! Would it be a warm welcome or a cold one? After all, I did choose to leave!
As I made my way to meet them, I kept wondering what would greet me on the other side. And you know what? It was nothing but warmth! I was so thankful for these people. So, I made my rounds giving handshakes and greeting my old team.
And then, I made it to the principal. With arms wide open and a warm smile, she reached out for a hug.
I will never forget this woman or her influence on me and my leadership. There’s no telling how many times my demeanor has tipped the scales of someone else’s experience. I don’t even want to know the amount of people that I may have unknowingly upset. And it pains me to think that I may have broadcasted the perception that I don’t like someone simply because of my facial expression.
But on this day, I was reminded of the importance of authentic leadership. Because you can’t fake that.
Thank you, Terri! I’ve not worked with many people with your same love for people. It hasn’t gone unnoticed! And by the way, I asked the staff member that hired me about his conversations with the references. You were right…you were instrumental in God’s work in my life!