Criticism can be one of the most distracting & destructive forces in your life. If you're not careful, it will derail you from focusing on your purpose!
At our church, we've been studying through the Book of Nehemiah. This is a story of how God broke Nehemiah's heart for the state of the city of Jerusalem. The walls around the city had been destroyed and left in ruin. The city was in trouble and God put it in Nehemiah's heart to rebuild the walls. As with any large task, Nehemiah and the Israelites would end of getting criticized from some local leaders who didn't want to see the work completed. This happens more than once in the Book of Nehemiah, so I thought it would be interesting to see how he responded.
So how should we respond when we receive criticism?
1. Pray. Nehemiah's response throughout chapter 4 is prayer (Neh 4:4-6 & 9). He relied so heavily on God's voice that it was automatic. If it were up to me, I might choose to dwell on it. This is such a big mistake! When we take our eyes off the mission and dwell on criticism, it is impossible to be Spirit-led! We ought to be laser-focused on God's mission for our life! Having said that, I know it's difficult to be so focused that you never get caught off guard. Maybe even impossible. That's why we ought to cultivate a life that is dependent on our relationship with God. I heard someone say recently, "Our reactions are more telling than our actions." Nehemiah's knee-jerk reaction was to pray. We should, too.
2. Remember your values. So many of the tough decisions of life can be boiled down to the lowest common denominator if you know your values. Your values are the things you care about; they are the beliefs that act as guardrails for your life. These are tightly-held core principles for which you'll take a bullet. When you are intimately acquainted with the values that inform your decisions, you can easily parse out the difference between meaningless criticism and helpful advice. Well...maybe it's not easy, but you get my point.
3. Consider the source. Does this person know you? Love you? Have your best interest at heart? It's possible that this person is just tossing out a drive-by criticism and they don't care about you. These aren't the people that are supposed to be shaping your identity. However, sometimes, we need to hear a loving rebuke from a friend. Proverbs 27:6 says it this way: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." Don't turn a deaf ear to the constructive criticism of a trusted friend.
4. Make adjustments if necessary. If it makes sense, aligns with your values, and comes through the avenue of a trusted friend, now it's time to make course corrections. If your friend is wise, they'll also be prepared with a possible solution. After all, what good is a problem without a few potential solutions? We make adjustments that align with our values so we can push toward a healthy future.
This all seems so obvious. Even as I'm writing, I'm thinking about how this isn't really groundbreaking. But isn't it true that, when we're in the middle of a crisis, our vision is blurred? Sometimes, all it takes is a trusted friend to look at our life from a birds eye view. They can see the lay of the land more clearly than we can. We can't see the forest for the trees.
At any rate, we can't go walk through life and completely avoid criticism. We are sure to come against it at some point in time. If you're a leader, this is especially true. We walk through these principles as leaders, because our work is too important. Leader, we need you to stay focused! What's at stake is simply too important. Hopefully, these principles will help you as you walk through this in the future!
“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”