Dear Student: Your Authenticity

‘Dear Student’ is a series of posts that are directly aimed at today’s teenagers. I am a youth pastor and am able to speak into our students’ lives constantly. But these posts are different. This series of posts are intentional, directed pleas to the next generation, based on some specific convictions about the unknown dangers that lie ahead. My tone is meant to be strong. My intention is to invest in you.

Authenticity isn’t a word I hear out of your mouth very often, but I hear you talk about it all the time.

From what I’ve heard you say and what I’ve studied about your generation, you desperately want honesty.
Out of your friends.
Out of your parents.
Out of your teachers.
Out of your pastors.
Out of your president.

As your pastor, I see a huge value in doing life with you in complete authenticity.

There’s just one problem. You demand authenticity from everyone around you, but you put on a front.

I’m not going to blame you…yet. You’ve been taught by the generations above yours (including my own) to show people that you have it together; that you don’t need help. Facebook has taught you that you can create a status, yet live a completely different life from what you post. The American Dream has taught you to “get yours” so you don’t have to rely on those around you.

Before I move on, you should know this. I realize you might be mad. That’s OK. I just want you to wrestle with this.

Authenticity breeds trust. Trust builds greater relationships. Not to mention, covering up the real you is exhausting. I’ve tried. We haven’t even taken into account that Jesus invites you to come as you are (Matthew 4:19; Mark 2:14). And to do life with other believers, together pushing toward Christ.

The beautiful side to your generation is that you demand the realness. You don’t fall for people who don’t live what they believe. You want authenticity from your spiritual leaders?
Then, we need it from you.

Consider yourself challenged to live authentically.
As enticing as it is to lie…about whatever, you will look back on your life and see that it wasn’t your life at all. It was someone else’s. You were a slave.

Most likely, to people you don’t even like anyways.

Live freely.
Live with authenticity.

Dear Student: Your Potential

‘Dear Student’ is a series of posts that are directly aimed at today’s teenagers. I am a youth pastor and am able to speak into our students’ lives constantly. But these posts are different. This series of posts are intentional, directed pleas to the next generation, based on some specific convictions about the unknown dangers that lie ahead. My tone is meant to be strong. My intention is to invest in you.

I’ve been involved in youth ministry for around 10 years now. I’ve talked with countless students and heard a ton of stories. I set out to do youth ministry because I wanted to help students through their middle and high school years; to help them see Jesus, to give them advice, and to help them make wise choices. I’ve seen a lot of students make very wise decisions. Sadly, though, for every student that makes a lifestyle out of wise decisions, countless others don’t.

Month in and month out, I see students trade what’s inexpressibly God for what’s mediocre. And with each trade-off, a life is changed for the worse.

But I believe with everything inside of me that there’s hope.

Dear Student:
You will never realize the potential you have in the Kingdom of God if you don’t take your eyes off your own circumstances and gaze at God regularly.

Your potential in the Kingdom of God is no less than the power that the apostles exhibited!

You are a Kingdom-shaker!
You are God’s creation!
You are the temple of the Holy Spirit!

But you can’t make a difference?

Your generation is being called the next great generation. Why? Because you can’t do it? No. Because you’re following up the preceding generations with a demand for more.

There’s more in you!
Stand on the shoulders of the generation over you!
Do greater things than we ever imagined!

For the love of everything holy, stop belittling yourself!
You’ve got Kingdom Greatness in you!

Mediocrity Is A Sin

So many people live their life without really making a difference.

That thought literally sends chills down my spine. There’s a fear that creeps up in me that I might be someone who doesn’t make a big impact on this world.

I wish I could back up what I’m about to say with Scripture (and I’m sure I could), but I’m going to be honest. I’m not writing this post because I read something in Scripture. I see so many people walking through life, without trying to create a better world. Sadly, a ton of those are in church leadership.

So many could articulate a better reality, but have no desire to jump in and make it happen.

“I want to be a doctor, but it requires so much school.”
“I know I need a job, but I’m not gonna work at a fast food restaurant!”
“I want to be debt-free, but this last purchase won’t make a big difference.”
“I want to be the best dad I can be, but I can’t beat the addiction.”

If you can’t make your goals and actions align, you’ll lead a mediocre life.
And mediocrity is NOT an option.

Saving Face Vs. Admitting That You're Wrong

It’s hard to work with someone who can’t admit that they’re wrong. It’s even more difficult to serve on a team with someone who lies constantly. Can I just say this?

We know you’re lying. We can see through it.

Not only can your co-workers see through the plastic mask that is your untruth. The next generation has the best crap-detectors I have ever seen in my life.

What does this mean for you, leader?

1. Not admitting that you’re wrong = Lack of trust with your team

2. Not being trustworthy takes away your credibility and diminishes your ability to lead. Don’t get me wrong: you may have a title, but you have no actual leadership with real people. You’ve lost that.

3. Why are you a leader in the first place? Because you’ve got skills? Because you want to be in front? John Maxwell put it this way: “There’s only one reason to be a leader, and that’s to help people.”

Character is everything. You don’t have to have character to lead. But youdo have to have character to be a leader who’s worth following.

Your Life Is Over

Fast-Forward with me to the end of your life.

Imagine that you know you’re about to die.
You’ve got 5 minutes left.
Just enough time to recount memories.

You might be lying in a hospital bed.
You might be spending time with family.

Now.

What do you regret?
What do you wish you did?
What’s the source of that deep pain in your gut?
Which times were the fulfilling ones?
Which moments were completely wasted?
Who do you wish you spent more time with?
Who should you have cut ties with long ago?
What do you wish you pursued?

What were you supposed to do?

Now, stop lying to yourself about your “investments” and “obligations.”
This life will be ended with a period, not a comma.
There are no second chances.

Any one thing that you do that doesn’t push toward that dream or a full life is a waste of time.

Don’t waste your life.

Recommended Reading:
Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper

Dear Student: Your Generation

‘Dear Student’ is a series of posts that are directly aimed at today’s teenagers. I am a youth pastor and am able to speak into our students’ lives constantly. But these posts are different. This series of posts are intentional, directed pleas to the next generation, based on some specific convictions about the unknown dangers that lie ahead. My tone is meant to be strong. My intention is to invest in you.

I said before that your generation is an amazing one. I’m proud of you. I’m excited about you. You’re not perfect, but no one is.

Your generation could change the face of this planet. You are so involved. You want to help. I’m just afraid that the only reason you want to do good is because it’s cool now.

Here’s an example: Everyone is wearing Tom’s Shoes. The beautiful thing is the “one-for-one” campaign that is associated with Toms. For every pair of shoes purchased, a child in need gets a pair.

Brilliant.

I’m gonna throw my generation under the bus for a moment. If you gave us that opportunity, we would have laughed at you. Because we don’t care about children who are dying of preventable diseases? Not really. Although, we didn’t really care about that either.

I don’t honestly think anyone from my generation would’ve worn a shoe like Toms as a “cause.” You would hear a lot of people saying “it’s just too weird.”

OK. Whatever. At least you’re honest, right? But seriously. If everyone wasn’t wearing them, would you? I’m not trying to be a jerk or anything. I just want you to wrestle with this concept. Are we doing good because we should? Or because doing good is “in”?

Have the courage to fight the flow! Want to know what “the flow” of your generation is?

Entitlement.

What does that mean? Basically, entitlement is believing that you are owed something.
A certain standard of living.
A job that pays you a certain amount.
A really nice car…as soon as you get your license.
A really nice house…as soon as you get your first job out of college.

There are all sorts of things we feel entitled to. And I’m not telling you not to chase those things. But please, please, don’t go around demanding them of everyone.

No one owes you JACK.

If your parents have a nice house, they spent time building up to it.
If they drive a nice car, they probably didn’t always have that kind of car.
If you live in America and you want to live up to the standard that you see exemplified, you’ll pull your hair out trying to keep up with it. It’s an endless pursuit of stuff that will probably leave you with that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach.

But don’t take my word for it. Take it from one of the wisest people to ever live.

“Vanity of vanities,” says the preacher, “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.”       Ecclesiastes 1:2

Read the rest of the book of Ecclesiastes to get the whole picture. Solomon chased everything he could. Food. Sex. Religion. Power. Stuff. And in the end, he called it all vain. Nothing. Empty.

Your generation has the power to change things. But you have to learn from those who’ve gone before you first. Don’t repeat our mistakes. Choose to be different.

Critics Will Always Criticize

Today, our local schools let out because of snow. I live in Arkansas. We don’t get snow very often, but when we do, the town goes nuts. Most don’t have any desire to get out in it, but some don’t mind. Regardless, when the decision gets made to cancel school, there are always those that criticize the decision; even if they may have been saved from a car accident.

When you’re in a position of leadership, your decisions will always be questioned and criticized. There will always be people who think you made a bad judgment call. And if you dwell in the criticism, you’ll eventually be so paralyzed by fear that you won’t be able to make good decisions in the future anyway.

Leadership isn’t leadership if it dwells in fear.
Leadership isn’t leadership if it’s people-pleasing.
Leadership is making the decisions that need to be made.

Andy Stanley says it this way:

“The leader who refuses to move until the fear is gone will never move. Consequently, he will never lead.”

Andy Stanley, “Next Generation Leader”  p. 55

So, the next time you’re afraid to make a decision because you’re afraid of what people will think, remember this: They will criticize you no matter what. Critics criticize. That’s what they do. If you move, they’ll criticize. If you don’t move, they’ll criticize. What’s the worth in not doing what you know you need to do?

Be bold. Lead.

Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals

Most leaders that have any sense of direction-consciousness set goals.
Setting goals is great.

Until you set them too low.

We serve a universe-creating God.
We serve a grave-robbing God.
We worship a life-rescuing God.

And we set tiny goals?
What the heck is that all about?

My definition of a big, hairy, audacious goal is that it is too big for me to accomplish on my own. Bill Hybels, of Willow Creek Community Church, says that these are big goals – SCARY big. They are so big that “they require the supernatural activity of God.” (emphasis mine)

Do you want to set goals that you can accomplish or goals that God has to accomplish? Perry Noble said it this way: “If everything in your church is unexplainable, God didn’t do it.”

Steven Furtick says in Sun Stand Still that “if your problems are too big for you, then they are just the right size for God.”

Aren’t goals just problems we’re trying to solve?

So what goals have you set for your life? Family? Job? Ministry?
Are they scary big?
Do they literally intimidate you?
If not, it’s time to go back to the drawing board.

Recommended Reading:
Built To Last by Jim Collins
Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybels
Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick

7 Prayers I'm Praying For Our Student Ministry

Last week, I scheduled the last half of Friday to just get off campus and pray for our student ministry. I turned the phone off and went to a coffee shop in Little Rock and just prayed. I wrote down some prayers as they became powerful in my mind. I began to feel like there was great purpose in them. So, I thought I’d share with you what I’m currently praying for our students this year.

You might notice that a couple of these prayers are almost asking for pain. I struggled to even write some of them down. But if I really believe, like James said, that we’re supposed to rejoice in trials because they help us grow, then I’m going to pray through that.

1. If it pleases You to see more people in central Arkansas saved, we beg to be a part of Your work. Please use us.

2. Disturb us, Father, to a place where we are broken by what breaks Your Heart.

3. Mold us, Father, so that we’re perfectly positioned to fit in Your Plan.

4. Humble us, God. We are not God. Only You are.

5. Please give us the faith to follow You more closely.

6. Please correct us if we misrepresent You.

7. If we’re unwilling to follow You with full abandon, please bring your purifying fire.

Priorities In Spiritual Leadership

Spiritual leadership is an overflow of your relationship with Christ. Being a pastor is never your primary reason for living; it is an overflow of your primary reason for living, which is your relationship with Christ!

If being a pastor trumps spiritual leadership of your family, you’re off.
If being a pastor trumps spiritual leadership over yourself, you’re off.
If being a pastor is a job for you, you’re off.
If spiritual leadership is something you can do outside of God’s influence, you’re off.

You might feel like spending a couple days to re-connect with Jesus is a mismanagement of time, but I would submit that leading outside of God’s power is idolatry – maybe even of yourself.

Get back to the basics.
1. While you were steeped in sin, Jesus reached down to rescue you (Romans 5:8).
2. Your goal in life should be to bring him glory with your life (1 Corinthians 6:20, Revelation 5:13).
3. You serve others because that is the example set before us (Philippians 2:3-8).

If the way you lead allows you to NOT listen to the voice of God, it’s time to invest some time in your relationship with your Creator!

The Best Gift A Senior Pastor Can Give Their Youth Pastor

Over Christmas break, I had a question I wanted answered. So I asked a bunch of youth pastors this question. I wanted to do this right, so I didn’t just ask people from my city. I talked with youth pastors from all over the country.

53 Youth Pastors.
1 Question.

What are the 3 greatest gifts that you wish your Senior Pastor would give you this year?

Now I’m not asking about iPads or a brand new Lexus with a big red bow on it (But how sweet would that be?!). What I’m asking has more to do with the work relationship you have with your pastor. What elements of leadership could he focus on, that would allow you to be a greater leader this year?

Here are the responses (based on number of mentions):
Trust – 23
Freedom – 20
Support – 17
Loyalty – 14
Mentorship/Coaching/Development – 12
Leadership – 12
Affirmation (Public & Private) – 11
Friendship – 10
Clear Communication – 9
Encouragement – 8
Budget – 7
Vision – 4
Time/Accessability – 4
Respect – 3
Stage Presence – 2

Other responses included: accountability, genuine interest in students, prayer, being real, time off, having a plan, wisdom, grace (in the midst of screw-ups), pay raise, and pastoring the youth pastors family.

I don’t think I need to draw any conclusions for you. The numbers speak for themselves. One conclusion I was able to draw through my conversations is that most of these responses are present because the gift is not. Youth Pastors all over the country are going without these gifts. Only one person I talked with specifically mentioned that he was getting “these gifts” from his pastor. Most were struggling.

I hope senior pastors are reading this. Send this to your senior pastor friends. Your youth pastor might be going without a crucial element to his/her development.

The top 3 responses tell a compelling story. Youth pastors are going without trust, freedom and support.

2011 can be different. Senior pastors, pursue your staff!

Creating A Culture Of Discipline

This post was inspired by Jim Collins’ “Good To Great,” and includes excerpts from the book. Please don’t confuse his content with mine. I don’t want to claim rights to this excellent material.

I was going through Good To Great the other day when I hit this section. It popped out at me, so I thought I would share the clip and a couple other points. Collins talks about the tension between having a group of self-starting leaders who can make things happen and the lower-capacity leaders who are used to bureaucracy and limiting systems (which slow the self-starters down). How do you manage this tension? He cites an example from George Rathhmann of Amgen.

“The professional managers finally rein in the mess. they create order out of chaos, but they also kill the entrepreneurial spirit. Members of the founding team begin to grumble. ‘I used to be able to just get things done…’

The exciting start-up transforms into just another company, with nothing special to recommend it. The cancer of mediocrity begins to grow in earnest.

George Rathmann avoided this entrepreneurial death spiral. He understood that purpose of bureaucracyis to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline–a problem that largely goes away if you have the right people in the first place. Most companies build their bureaucratic rules to manage the small percentage of wrong people on the bus, which in turn drives away the right people on the bus, which then increases the percentage of wrong people on the bus, which increases the need for more bureaucracy to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline, which further drives the right people away, and so forth.”

Dang. If that’s not slightly scary to you, maybe you need to read it again. One wrong hire can bring a need for over-management, which drives your true leaders away. This next line drops the hammer.

“Rathmann also understood an alternative exists: Avoid bureaucracy and hierarchy and instead create a culture of discipline. When you put these two complementary forces together–a culture of discipline with an ethic of entrepreneurship–you get a magical alchemy of superior performance and sustained results.”

1. If you haven’t read “Good To Great,” what the heck are you doing on my blog? Go get it.

2. Who you surround yourself with is so much more important than what you decide to do. If you surround yourself with people who need to be tightly managed, you won’t make a great impact.

3. Do you over-manage your leaders? You’re not allowed to answer that until you ask them. They may hold back until you give them the opportunity for healthy debate.

Spinning Too Many Plates

This post is about my own personal struggle.

I gravitate towards complexity. In other words, I involuntarily spin too many plates.

It doesn’t happen on a moment’s notice; rather, over time.

I can work purposefully for long stretches of time. But eventually, projects pile up, non-essential opportunities are met with open hands, and time-wasting energies are spent to no avail.

I don’t think I’m the only one out there with this problem.

Maybe this blog post is a plate you don’t need to be spinning. Maybe all the content you consume is a plate you shouldn’t be wasting energy on. Maybe that next meeting is a plate. Maybe the extra project you took on.

We all spin plates. There’s nothing wrong with spinning plates – I just don’t you to spin too many. Because if you’re spinning too many, they’ll all eventually fall and break into pieces.

Stop.
Re-evaluate where you’re spending your energy.
Prioritize what matters most.
Kill non-essential projects.

It’s been said that one of the elements that makes a Level 5 Leader is the fact that they keep a comprehensive “Stop-Doing” List, rather than just a “To Do” List. Focus isn’t something that just happens. It is a discipline.

Fight for focus.

Your Vision Is Too Small

Can you reach your goals without God?

Is the greatest thing happening in your ministry explainable?

Do you prefer ministry to be manageable?

Do you have plans to keep your structure the same in the future, even if that means it can’t give appropriate support to what God is calling you into?

What would happen if the vision for your ministry were accomplished today? Would you be satisfied?

Is your vision too small?

Who's Glory?

I had a haunting thought the other day.

What if God said “I would have blessed your work, but I didn’t because you would’ve given yourself the glory”?

What if He told me that He would have blessed my work, but He didn’t because I would’ve taken all the credit?

What would you change about your life? Your leadership? Your processes?

I don’t want to be the one that God would’ve used, but didn’t because I got in the way.

I want to be used.

Gratitude And Impact Are Linked

I found something last week that was pretty interesting. I was prepping a lesson on thanksgiving and was trying my best to write a great lesson – not just another “what are you thankful for” session.

In my head, I could remember all the times that Paul said that he would thank God at the beginning of his letters. To be honest, I’d never thought much about it. Kind of like I’d never thought about any of the genealogies.

But I didn’t realize how often Paul, in some form, thanked Godaround the beginning of his letters until I took a look for myself.

Romans 1:8 – “I thank my God…”
1 Corinthians 1:4 – “I thank my God…”
2 Corinthians 1:3 – “Blessed be God…”
Ephesians 1:16 – “I don’t stop giving thanks…”
Philippians 1:3 – “I thank my God…”
Colossians 1:3 – “We give thanks to God…”
1 Thessalonians 1:2 – “We give thanks…”
2 Thessalonians 1:3 – “We ought to always give thanks…”
1 Timothy 1:12 – “I thank Christ Jesus…”
2 Timothy 1:3 – “I thank God…”
Philemon 1:4 – “I thank my God…”

I’m not saying that there’s a link to Paul’s thankfulness to God and his impact in the Kingdom. But I’m not saying there isn’t, either. To be complete, a quick glance will show you that other New Testament writers don’t always follow this same prescription.

However, what if there is a connection? What if there’s a connection to how thankful you are to God and how much impact you have? After all, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5).

What would it look like if you started each day this week, starting today, with a short prayer thanking God for all He’s done in our lives?

I’m taking the challenge, and would love to hear what God does in your life through being thankful!

Miracle

I consider myself to be a great driver. By that, I don’t mean that I know all the rules and obey them (although I do…sometimes). What I mean is that I react pretty quickly and have been able to avoid several wrecks over the years

But the picture below refers to a fear of mine. Ever since I was a kid, I hate driving by semi trucks. As soon as I approach one, I press the gas a little harder, leaving my fears safely behind me.

This morning, during rush hour, I was driving down an interstate I travel frequently. My exit was just up ahead. I was in the middle lane, hoping for a chance to get over, which is not usually a problem. To my right, a semi. Behind that semi was another semi.

Have you ever been in a driving situation in which you see cars stopped ahead, but no one else does around you? Even the semi trucks? That’s exactly what happened this morning. In fact, all reason told me that, at that point, there was going to be a wreck.

A quick glance to the far left lane left me with no options, as there were cars there, too. I was about to be in product of a very ugly wreck, including two semi trucks doing 65 mph.

Then the first semi realized the traffic was stopped. He hit the brakes and stopped almost immediately. May I remind you that he had no other option. No other lanes were open. The semi behind him reacted quickly, safely pulling behind me. And no one was hurt.

I guess what was crazy to me about the situation was that I thought for sure that there was going to be necessary collateral damage. He either needed to side-swipe me or smash into the cars in front of him. Taking everything into account, I represented less damage in the situation.

But he just stopped. Almost immediately. The tires didn’t screech. The truck didn’t jackknife. I would estimate that he stopped the truck in 30-50 yards.

Now, I’m no truck driver; nor am I an engineer. But everything I’ve witnessed in the past tells me that this doesn’t happen.

For the next 15 minutes, I thought about what could have happened. I thought about the family that I’d left at home. I thought about what life would look like if I’d been in a terrible wreck. I wondered if I’d even be alive to be think these thoughts.

And then this thought popped into my head: What if God had purpose for stopping that wreck from happening. What if the laws of nature were bent for even just one of the people who would be involved?

What if God miraculously stopped that wreck because He has a big plan for someone involved?

May we remember that God has a plan for us all!
If you’re breathing today, then God is not done with you yet!
What would you regret not doing if you died today?
What burning passion is God stirring up in you?
What are you waiting for?

And if you’re one of those people who knows that this was in fact not a miracle, but happens all the time with semi trucks, just go ahead and keep your comment to yourself. I’d rather go on believing that it was a miraculous event :).

My Worship Service Was Better Than Yours

This last Sunday, our son Kipton had a cold. We didn’t want to take him to the nursery, so he didn’t sneeze and cough all over his friends.

My wife had not been at our services in the past couple weeks, because she had been visiting family. So, I offered to keep Kipton in the lobby.

I was able to hear muffled versions of the music played and the words spoken. As the music played, I sang. As I sang, my son rang out sounds of worship as only a 7-month old boy can.

He explored my face with his hands. I explored his with my eyes. His wide-open smile…a source of joy for me.

A little after the message started, my son fell asleep in my arms. His stuffed-up nose was making it hard for him to breathe, but he slept in my arms nonetheless. Maybe it would help you to know that he doesn’t do this very often. I have a very engaged boy. He loves to play and watch and learn. When it’s time for him to sleep, he sleeps. It just rarely happens in my arms. In fact, this was only the 5th time he has ever slept in my arms.

I’d like to offer this: Worship doesn’t just happen in a room on Sunday morning. Worship happens when we respond to what God has done for us. Singing to my King with my son in my arms was the best worship service I’ve taken part in in a long time.